Holy fucking shit! Some drunk rednecks setup a jump, drink some beers, and here's what happens next!

Pretty funny AOL Commercial

Wanna party the whole night away? Just drink Burn Energy Drink, and see what happens.

The ultimate how-to video on how to make a popular viral video. All you need to do is this...

Drunk blonde girl attempts to crush a can with her head. Don't worry, there's nothing in there to hurt anyway.

This fat rude kid opens a beer stand on the sidewalk and bad-mouths and insults everyone, haha!

Such a hard decision, video games or sex? Well, now you can have both!

Interview with Corey Worthington, some wannabe cool Australian kid who threw a wild party and got busted

Do you know what the Dirty Sanchez is? What about the Donkey Punch? Well, here is a fairly extensive compilation of some of the extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed by men.. drunk, sober or otherwise. Most of these are pretty disgusting and most not recommended if you actually LIKE the girl you're fucking around with.

1. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

3. Western Grip- When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.

4. The Blumpkin- You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly, the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

6. Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)

7. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

8. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

9. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.

10. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.

11. Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

12. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

13. Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.

14. Jelly Dougnut: A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.

15. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

16. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

17. Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.

18. Rim Job: Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use of the tongue.

19. The Bucking Bronco- An all time classic. You start by going doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

20. Pink glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough.
When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

21. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure
as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed).

22. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.

23. The Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.

24. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.

25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.

26. Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.

27. The ChiliDog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.

28. Gaylord Perry: Going to only one knuckle during an anal probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either on one finger or on multiple).

29. Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chic from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anythingwhen she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

30. Glass Bottom Boat: Putting saran wrap over your partners face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there.

31. Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible, but it is definitely worth a try.

32. Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

33. Dutch Oven: Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well.

Swingers, sex party, and sex dating people know most of these online and txt words with their eyes closed and cock buried in someone else's wife, but for the rest of us, here is a little lingo to live by:

ALL CULTURES = all fetishes and sexual activities
B&D = Bondage and Discipline
BI = individual who enjoys both heterosexual and homosexual activities
BI CURIOUS = Willing to experiment with a member of the opposite sex.
CAN ENTERTAIN = Will swing in their own home
CAN TRAVEL = Will swing in your home
CLOSED SWINGING = sexual activities with couples using separate rooms, usually in the same house, a maximum of privacy afforded.
CPC = Contact phone calls
DDF = Disease and drug free
D/F = Dominant Female
GOOD SMOKE = Marijuana or 'grass'
HH = Heels and Hosiery
HMC = Happily Married Couple
HWP = Height/Weight Proportionate
HEDONIST = One who lives for pleasure
INDOOR SPORTS = swinging activities in general
INTERESTED IN FRIENDSHIP = They want more than just sex; a relationship that is deeper than just a sexual encounter
ISO = In Search Of
LIFESTYLE = Generally refers to those who choose swinging as a 'lifestyle'
MEET FOR PLEASURE = Meet for swinging sex. No pretense to a social or emotional situation.
M(W,A,EI,H...etc)C = Married (White, Asian, East Indian, Hispanic... etc) Couple.
NS/LD = Non Smoker, Light Drinker
OFF - PREMISE CLUB = No Swinging at the club. You meet others and make your own arrangements
OPEN SWINGING = Sexual activities with several or all participating couples together in the same room; a minimum of privacy afforded.
PARTIES = Group swinging, more than three couples.
RECREATIONAL SWINGER = One who practices swinging as a recreational diversion.
ROMAN = Group sex, the party scene, orgies
SASE = Self-Addressed Stamped Envelope with your return address on it
SAFE = Naturally or surgically sterile
SAFE SEX = using condoms
S/M = Sadism and Masochism
SINGLES = A swinger without a partner. Does not refer to martical status.
STDF = Sexual Transmitted Disease Free
SOCIAL = Off premise swing party
SPNG = Spanking
Submissive = Passive, wishes to be dominated
TLC = Tender Living Care

So remember these if you're browsing sex party, orgy, or swinger dating databases or whatever it is that you do in your spare time... haha!

Now you really can, sort of. Fleshlight now has custom made Fleshlights from your favorite porn stars. You can now fuck Lia19, Brooke Skye, Raven Riley, Puma Swede, Vanilla DeVille, Sandee Westgate, and Kat Young.

Each Fleshlight is moulded from the models vagina and is as close as you will get to the real thing. Well, unless you are a pornstar or are charming enough to get a pornstar to fuck you (good luck).

Fleshlight Buyer's Guide

Have you ever seen someone try this? I don't know why but its funny every single time. Its like licking a frozen metal pole in winter, only dumb people fall for it.

Got a text message late last night to come out to the bar.. this group of chicks had just come from this Firefighter stripping fundraiser or something and having a wild good time, so I figured sure, its a good opportunity to possibly get some action.

When we got to the bar they had already got inside and we got in the quickly growing line... which wasn't moving. Some quick pre-gaming before arriving made me not care as much, but when people started cutting the line I started to get pissed. Especially when it was chicks who insisted on cutting right in front of me even though I told them to fuck off and what finger to use.

After 50 minutes in line, the girls inside were bored and decided to ditch anyway, so we all headed back to my place for some drinks, socializing, and ultimately we played drunken Guitar Hero and I played bartender for the rest of the night.

I am very hungover this morning.

Was surfing around and found these hot pictures of this party girl getting fucked up the ass, and they had to be posted. Look at this drunk party whore getting fucked by two guys at once, and that gaping asshole! She loves it in every hot little hole she has.

Pictures:

This dumb chick gets plowed by the entire football team, and not in the good high school, orgy party, kinda way.

Searching for a new poker room to check out, I stumbled onto a hot little poker website that is a poker lovers dream! Hot models playing poker, being sexy, flirting with each other, and getting naked and more! The website is called Party Girl Poker.

The video is high definition, there are 2000 images, interviews, individual episodes and more. This website is like the perfect hybrid between pornsite or a poker website.

Enjoy!

That's right! Dead Girls Gone Wild is full of dead hot naked coeds, learn the secrets that Necrophiliacs have known for centuries!

Wow, this really hot blonde totally gets around, and her parents are really REALLY happy about it. More importantly, can I get your number?

Who knows what this commercial is selling, but I like party party good good too, and those bouncing tits makes me wanna buy... something.. anything.

Dad walks in on his little girl being a little whore on her webcam

I like girls who a little dumb ... and who would let me do whatever I want, too!

I wonder if they could pack anymore sexual innuendos into this commercial? Every time I watch it, I find something new.

Yes its true! Lindsey Lohan posed NUDE in New York Magazine and here are the nude pictures.

Awesome viral video featuring nearly every single viral and fad ever created .. a little self-reflexive and post-modern perhaps?

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis spoke about his release from jail and his upcoming plans at a news conference Thursday morning at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.

Alongside prominent news stations, AVN Online was the only adult news source in attendance.

"I, after 11 months of incarceration, pleaded ‘no contest' to several charges in Florida," Francis said. "I am 100 percent innocent of these charges, and the only reason that I took this plea offer was to get out of jail. I was being held illegally without bail in the U.S. for over 11 months. It was time to get out. I had this plea offer on the table for quite some time before that, and I chose to take it simply to get out of jail, not because I committed any crime whatsoever.

"A number of things happened that ultimately led to this plea deal in Florida. I will back up a bit and explain to what I plead to. I plead ‘no contest' to a count of child abuse. Here are the circumstances surrounding the events that took place in Panama City, Fla., in 2003 that led to that allegation where two 17-year-old girls lied about their age, falsified written release forms and showed false identification to a cameraman who was not directly employed by me. The video was never used on Girls Gone Wild, it was never purchased for use on Girls Gone Wild, and Panama City officials, because of a vendetta, chose to pursue me and harass me for five years, which led to the incarceration.

"I was in a civil lawsuit ... not [a] criminal lawsuit. The civil lawsuit stemmed from the same situation. These two 17-year-old girls sued me in civil court. I was ordered by the judge to settle or go to jail in a civil claim.

"Upon entering the jail - I chose jail over paying $70 million dollars - I was charged with having my own cash and my own prescription medication in my pocket. They gave me a ‘no bail' hold for the past 11 months, and that's why I was incarcerated.

"I did a media campaign with my attorney. We finally caught the state attorney Steve Meadows. He had committed multiple felonies in persecuting and prosecuting me. And, finally, he showed child pornography to ‘ABC News Nightline.' We caught him on tape doing that, which is what ultimately led to the resolution of this case.

"It is a victory! There is no probation. There is no time. There is absolutely no ramifications whatsoever in this plea. It is a total victory on our part."
Francis noted that he will not have to register as a sex offender, as he took the plea of child abuse because is it a felony that doesn't require him to register.

Francis answered questions from the audience for a half-hour and said Girls Gone Wild magazine would debut on Apr. 15. Each magazine will feature a free full length Girls Gone Wild DVD.

He said he plans to release a new Girls Gone Wild Tequila in June, adding that the company will continue producing pay-per-view movies and will launch its Blu-ray DVD on television.

"Girls Gone Wild is alive and well," he said. "Our office in Los Angeles has 400 people who have been producing videos all along and working on other projects."

Francis said Girls Gone Wild has always followed the rules and procedures regarding model identification.

"The whole incident in Panama City, Fla., was really started with a vendetta that was against me," he said. "I shot there, and all of a sudden, I am scum of the earth. The officials of that city told me I was not welcome. We would not have been there shooting if they didn't hold their spring break there with girls who were getting naked. After sitting there asserting my First Amendment right, these people came after me with a vengeance."

Francis said Panama City officials came for him two weeks after a federal lawsuit was filed, charging him with 71 felonies in 2003.

"They seized my aircraft and my Ferrari," he said. "They sent out a press release stating that a quantity of cocaine had been found aboard my plane. All of these statements, including the 71 felonies, turned out to be false."
Francis said his legal issues have not been completely resolved. He said he and his attorney have a deal in a tax case, but he has not accepted it because it involves him pleading guilty. The deal is for time served and a fine. Francis said this legal issue should be cleared up very soon and he will not plead guilty.

Francis thanked his supporters and said his legal problems will have no negative effects on Girls Gone Wild. He said he spent his time in jail handling the day-to-day operations of his business, using a pay phone to make 14-minute, three-way calls to his office in Los Angeles.

"While I was in jail, I encountered a certain hyper-focus from being locked in a cage," he said. "I had legal pads that I filled up within a matter of hours, full of my new ideas. That is what you are going to see. You will see what I have come up with ... [in] all of the great things we are coming out with. I am going to make everything better now in all aspects of my life."

Joe Francis, 34, founder of the Girls Gone Wild videos you see endlessly promoted on cable television.

Girls Gone Wild has made millions of dollars by filming women exposing themselves, drunk or not!

Francis has been in the Nevada jail for nearly a year. He was picked up on charges of tax evasion and has been caught in a tug-of-war between Nevada and Florida. He is currently wanted in Florida for allegedly filming underage girls on spring break.

Dude, this is best breakup ever. Slow but keep watching, its well worth it! Talk about stomping on your heart then giving you a boner.

Huge domino effect of 144 Jager Bombs carefully setup. This bar sure knows how to throw a going away party! Very cool effect, try this at home but dont blame us for broken glasses.

Here's something for the next time you can't get a chick to go with you to a movie (and lets admit it, you're such a loser that's bound to happen a lot, right?)

Make yourself a movie masturbator to keep you company during the sex scenes (or for your favorite x-rated films) or just to have some kinky fun in public.

This website will show you how to make yourself a nice popcorn pocket pussy:
http://www.homemade-sex-toys.com/popcorn/

I suppose the only problem with this "master-plan" is that whole "No Outside Food or Drink" rule so they can change $26 for a bag of popcorn and a drink.

This dude has some truly excellent been drinking skills. Either that, or he's been giving deep throat oral sex to men instead of women.

Damn hot party girl teaches us about the facts of the beer diet. How to lose weight and stay skinny and fuckable while partying the entire night away! Remember, 12 beer have 0 calories.

There are dozens of ways a bartender can cheat you on the drinks you order, and pay good money for! Here is a great video showing how a few of the clever tricks so you can avoid being scammed.

This guy passes out and his buddies carry him out and set him adrift on a raft. He floats along, passed out in the middle of the lake, until...

Rumors are all over the internet saying that there is a sex tape of Britney Spears (with her shaved head) performing sex acts on two girls and a man.

"During the video, the Toxic star is said to look dazed and consumes alcohol and "what appears to be cocaine and marijuana".

A couple years ago when Britney Spears was still hot, I would have been all over this, but now I'm not sure if anyone wants to see the bowling ball head bobbing up and down anywhere. That's just kinda creepy. Can you imagine doggystyle and watching the back of her shaved head while you fuck her?? Sure, you'd know that your dick was buried in her pussy, but wouldn't the experience be a little.. umm.. confusing?

Britney's life is just a joke now, after failed reality TV shows, weight gains, her sister (Jamie Lynn Spears) becoming pregnant, and all the garbage on TV about her and custody of her kids is just annoying.

She should go on tour and sing, clearly she can't do the normal life. As someone else recently wrote, "You can take the girl out of the trailer park, but can't take the trailer park out of the girl."

Related Articles:
New Britney sex tape rumors

Oh my God, my liver hurts, and its a few days after New Years already. I feel like I just woke up.

I don't know what you were up to on New Years but there's this big poker tournament here for losers who can't get invited to a good party that night -- so obviously, I went. Well, that was only part of the night's festivities.

After a few hours of stacking chips, playing conservative (capitalizing on good hands, minimizing losses) I end up at 2nd last table. It only cost me $20 to enter for a guaranteed $2,500 first prize, so I'm feeling pretty good, and the night is young.

I change my game and start to go aggressive, it being out of the norm, people start folding when I want them to (assuming I have good cards because that's how I've been playing all night). You already know where this goes, I end up at final table.

Not only final table, but to make a long story short, I end up heads up with a dude with a hell of a lot more chips than me. He starts bullying me. I keep folding, waiting for a good hand. Nothing comes and needless to say, I'm getting pretty fucking pissed off after coasting through most of the tournament. My New Years was celebrated as this dude kept taking my chips.

Its getting late, and I finally pull a Q9 suited. Sadly, that was the best hand I had seen in probably over an hour. He casually goes all in (again) and I call. Immediately, he looks at me as if he crapped his pants.

We both flip -- he has 93, offsuit.

The turn makes my flush and I double up. I am now big stack and the very next hand I pull QQ. The blinds just went up, and he pushes again, thinking that I can't possibly hit 2 good hands in a row.

I call. We flip -- he has a pair of 10s, and a Q comes up on the river to seal it.

Fucking sweet, I won $2,500! This was actually my first big win, I have only played home games and online for the last 2 years.

So I call up some friends and I treated everyone to drinks, and as I already said -- my liver hurts.

Related Website
http://www.nadda.net/poker/

Sounds like Mischa Barton is missing the OC and taking it pretty hard, since she was just busted for drunk driving. She blew a .12 on her breathalyzer test, and admitted to smoking marijuana earlier the same day. She was driving on a suspended license, and police found the pot in her car. Talk about a bad day.

Don't you just miss 'The OC'? Well, I was never a huge fan of the show, but the chicks were pretty hot, so with nothing else on, sure... I'd turn it on and watch those hot chicks do their thing.

Mischa was released on $10,000 bail.

Related Stories:
Mischa's Idea of a Good Time -- Pot and Pills?
Mischa Barton Busted for DUI

House parties are still by far the best place to bang drunk girls. Lots of free booze (unless the host is a cheap bastard) and lots of conveniently located couches to put the moves on, and bedrooms to finish the mission. I'll never forget a girl from a couple months ago. Damn she was cute with a smile that was sweet and naughty at the same time. She was young, blonde, and athletic. Kinda short and a sweet ass those athletic girls have. Long story short, everything was going great. She could keep up a conversation and was giggly and just a little buzzed -- just enough that she could ride my cock without falling off. I suggested we go upstairs and she said okay. Things went the way you'd expect, we made out and then I saw her naked and damn was she yummy. I started to lick her snatch and she got a bit loud and I had to fuck her. But when I went to put it in she says to me "I like my virginity so you can only fuck my ass, ok?" I just stopped -- my mind had to process. She's a horny virgin and wants me to fuck her ass. What did I do? I fucking flipped her over and worked my cock straight up her lil asshole. She was tight enough that I blew my load deep up her ass, but loose enough that I knew she had been fucked up the ass many times. I don't care what she thinks, if you've been fucked up the ass you aint a virgin.

If you don't know what a MILF is, you're obviously not old enough to be on this website -- please leave. I dropped by one of the night clubs to have a drink because my work day was fucking insanely stressful. It was just me, flying solo. I wasn't really thinking about pussy until this woman sat down next to me. I knew she had to be in her 30's but had a body that I wouldn't describe as smokin, but she was still pretty hot. So we get to talking about work and just in general how life can get a little boring. That's when I suggested I spice up her life. It was that moment that she chose to tell me she was married and "probably shouldn't do something like that." Fucking hell, I was about to order another drink when she said "but it won't be the first time I've been naughty." Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner! When we got back to her place I caught on pretty fast what was going on. She was married, her kids were away, and she was out for some play. As soon as we got in the door she started to undress me and vice-versa. She went down on me right in the doorway and she sucked cock better than anyone I've ever been with! Between the blowjob and getting upstairs is a bit of a bluff but after that I handcuffed her doggystyle and plowed her from behind for what seemed like forever. She went through a couple orgasms but I just kept going. I uncuffed her, she flipped over, and things got really wild! She bucked, she fucked, and I shot my load deep inside her. I didn't stick around very long and haven't seen her since, but damn... I won't forget that older woman.

Every month the local bar has a wet tshirt contest and me and the guys all go down there for obvious reasons. Lets face it, seeing girls naked and having a few drinks beats staying at home looking at porn any day. I met up with this brunette chick with a huge rack and she seemed smart which I thought was a bit odd just because with most girls you get one or the other -- looks or brains. She was fucking hot and I couldn't keep my eyes off her tits. But then things got weird, she started talking about having lung surgery a couple months ago. What the fuck? I don't even know how it came up or why she said anything. Right then they started the contest and I convinced Jen (or whatever her name was, I don't remember) to get up there and flash those juicy tits that I had drooled over all night. She gets wet and all I can see are those perky nipples and even when she took off her shirt it wasn't until my buddy nudged me that I noticed some scars from her lung surgery -- right under her tits! Holy fuck she had told me about the "surgery" to cover for her obvious boob job!

So the dude that we had the stag for a couple weeks ago finally tied the knot and had the biggest wedding party I have ever seen. Great thing about weddings where you aren't family is that all the chicks are fair game. We hit the dance floor with some of the hotties after all those lame and boring speeches. Damn those drunk wedding bitches can dance and do some naughty shit. I heard about one groomsman getting it on with a bridesmaid in the bathroom (don't know if that's true or not) but I did see some people taking photos of some floppy dicks and saggy tits with the cameras that were provided on the tables. My head is kinda spinny right now trying to remember it all, which means that it had to definitely be a good time. As long as I don't wake up with a ring on my finger myself its all good!

To celebrate the holiday weekend we always put together an entertaining fireworks show out of town. This year we bought nearly $300 in fireworks which was over 40 pieces. Being the smart and responsible people we are, we got drunk in the afternoon while setting up the show, instead of being drunk while lighting. Night fell upon the small crowd and we started the show and the variety was fucking sweet. We were almost done when my buddy lit one of his multi-shots and it gracefully lit up the night sky. Then the second shot skewed out of control and into the trees behind us. There wasn't even time to panic before a streak a light shot towards me. I dove for cover as it exploded less than 5 feet away and all I could see was light all around me. On the ground I watched as the firework kept launching, completely out of control. The final burst of light shot towards the garage and exploded on impact, and the chaos ended. I guess he forgot to bury it halfway in the ground. Oops. At least I still have my eyebrows.

What better way to teach a buddy a lesson about settling down with some chick than to take him to paintball for his stag. He never played before but we told him it doesn't hurt. Well, that lie lasted as long as the first game when he got his ass shot up, literally. But that was just the start of the fun. After the second game we started drinking, and of course we made sure that the groom had a little more to drink than all of us and then we went and played a couple more games. If you want to make a target easier to shoot, just add alcohol -- or at least that's what we thought. He started to kick our asses! Turns out he had played a lot of times and just played along with us when we thought he had never played before. Fuck! One of the guys got shot square in the nuts -- blue balls is a bad thing, but trust me, that kind of blue balls is much much worse! Then, one of the guys shot the fucking cute referree girl! Dude, you don't shoot the referree, especially if she's a cute blonde that you might be able to take out to the bushes later and have some fun with. So much for that plan -- she was pretty pissed off after getting painted that bad. But we got him back though with something called Running the Gauntlet. Picture this, a drunk fool running around the paintball field getting shot by everyone. Well, that's what we did and lets just say he'll be very very sore in the morning.

So i'm a little hung-over from Saturday night (yeah, like that's unusual). As much as i'd like to say it was the greatest party ever it really wasn't. I'm totally talking about lack of hot chicks here, because that's all that matters, right? But there was some crazy shit I barely remember.. so here's what happened. It was actually close to the end of the party and I'm sitting on the couch pretty buzzed when some fat chick screams and comes running out of a bedroom. What the fuck? She starts saying there's some huge ass bug in there crawling on the bed. Me and some other guys go in to check it out and the room mate of the person throwing the party has a fucking pet scorpion! That's cool but yeah, it scared the shit out of this chick. Meanwhile its creeping its way towards this girl that's passed out on the bed! Well, it wasn't creeping fast enough so this guy picks it up and puts it right on her chest but the bugger doesn't crawl down her shirt and we all bust our laughing! Its fucking hilarious because... well, if you saw this chick... you probably wouldn't crawl down her shirt either!